In the first weeks, it can be nerve-wracking to know if your baby is eating well at the breast. While pumping and bottle feeding offers critical relief and reassurance, it may not always feel that way.
An incredibly common breastfeeding scenario is this: baby is born to parents who desire to breastfeed. They’re told in the hospital to put the baby to the breast as much as possible, and they may even be told to avoid bottles so the newborn doesn’t become confused. They see the pediatrician with a few days of birth and find out their little one has lost too much weight–he hadn’t been feeding well, unbeknownst to them.
The parents absorb the shock of this news, which unleashes a mix of emotions–guilt, shaken confidence, fear. They begin pumping and bottle feeding in addition to nursing, and after some period of either days or weeks, find that the regime of triple feeding is simply too great to maintain. The mother feels she hardly has time to hold her baby, and is saddened by the loss of bonding she had envisioned. She may regretfully let nursing go, as it is simply the only way she can get a little time back.
Families who have been working with me will often have established a different balance–nursing at some feeds, pumping and bottling through the others while supply and weight gain are established. These parents are often feeling better emotionally, compared to the round-the-clock triple feeders. But they may also come to the conclusion that they’d rather pump and bottle feed, which is safe and secure, and let go of the nursing, which in comparison, feels risky.
Putting feeding options into perspective
Here’s where the long view comes into play. In the early period, that first month or two after birth when the newborn is still largely a ball of mush, pumping and bottle feeding seems like a decent compromise. What parents who are still in the trenches aren’t thinking of, is how un-cuddly exclusive pumping is, and how onerous the cycle of washing and sanitizing parts relentlessly around the clock can become. They aren’t thinking about the reality that one year is a common maximum for exclusive pumping, by which point the pumping parent is sick of this chore and ready to be free from it.
It can be easy to underestimate the positives of nursing for the longer term because at four, six, or eight weeks postpartum, this family hasn’t seen them yet. They don’t know that at a year, when nursing is a bond that long ago stopped requiring mental energy, many mothers enjoy the process of making milk and feeding it to their baby because it’s not a job, it’s a part of their relationship. Nursing parents tend to continue longer than exclusive pumpers because they like it.
And this shift, where nursing becomes easier than bottle feeding, happens much earlier than one might expect. Typically, around six weeks the clouds are starting to part, many of the kinks of the early days have been worked out, and putting a baby to the breast is much less stressful. We’ve established supply, the infant’s healthy growth is well documented, and milk transfer at the breast has been measured at all of our visits. Latching is often fairly smooth, or getting really close to a routine event that doesn’t require conscious execution of multiple steps and total attention throughout. It’s become … almost relaxing.
Feedback from baby feeders
I’ve had many mothers who’d contemplated exclusive pumping tell me they’re grateful they didn’t give up on nursing. It’s become easier than getting up and making a bottle overnight–they don’t even have to fully wake up to nurse. It’s convenient when they’re out, as they don’t have to worry if they forgot to bring milk or a bottle. When it’s time for a scheduled pump, they find they’d rather simply put the baby on, as they get time with the baby and there’s nothing to clean up.
There’s nothing wrong with exclusive pumping. I’ve worked with many parents for whom this is the best approach and an ideal feeding scenario. I don’t question moms who know this is what they want and tell me so; I trust women to know what is best for them! However, early on exclusive pumping can look like the simplest, easiest way to feed. And early on, it usually is. But as someone who watches infant feeding progress over months, I can tell you that it changes.
Additional advantages to consider
In addition to the ease of nursing that increases with time, and the generally longer duration of nursing over pumping, other benefits of nursing exist. One is the relationship–nursing is a different bond. It’s not that you love your baby more, but biologically the bond is different due to the hormonal balance and physical closeness that nursing engenders.
The immunological benefits are stronger with nursing, as the direct and regular contact between the parent’s and baby’s body is preserved. As the biological norm, nursing develops oral function and facial structure most optimally. Nursing is also nurturing, and an emotional comfort to offer your baby. Babies ask for the breast for many reasons beyond hunger or thirst, and many parents find they are happy to have this available to them in the longer term. Lastly, successful nursing reduces the mother’s anxiety and depression.
All other things being equal
Again–there are times when nursing is especially complicated, such as following a traumatic birth or with a premature infant, and pumping is the best solution. There are also parents who have no desire to put their baby to their breast, and this is absolutely valid. No one should be pressured to nurse who isn’t comfortable with it, for any reason. This article is not about these situations. It’s for otherwise healthy couplets, when parents who desire nursing may feel intimidated or overwhelmed by it, and not be aware of how much it can improve.
Nursing may not be for everyone. But to give it a solid chance, I recommend (of course) working with a lactation consultant and sticking with it. Keep your head above water, and at six weeks, reassess. You may find you can relax and enjoy the fruits of your hard work.
images source: U.S. Breastfeeding Coalition